When it Rains it Pours
by PimpMasta Popo
Summary: [“Is that what I need to say? Is that what you need to hear?” Julia exhaled sharply. “I don’t love you.”] [SxJ]


Disclaimer - I don't own Cowboy Bebop

AN: This is just a little idea that came to me. I hope everyone enjoys it. 

Dedication: To Elise, my inspiration.

****

When It Rains It Pours

He hadn't come home again. This was the fourth time this week. It wasn't unusual. Vicious came home in the wee hours of morning every day, it seemed. She was always asleep when he came home. She sat in the dark, absent mindedly staring at the chicken she cooked, prepared perfectly on her plate. Each food group had their own section. The chicken was on one third of the plate, and the rest was shared by vegetables and mashed potatoes. Once again, her efforts went to waste. She didn't eat. She stared at the food. She wasn't hungry much anymore, anyway. These days, she'd lost her appetite. Her stomach always did flips when she thought of Spike. A faint blush would tint her cheeks. Her dreams were always cut short by the ominous reminder of her current boyfriend. 

She played around with the mashed potatoes, swirling them about. She was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was. She responded with a soft, "Come in."

The door opened with a faint creek. It was him. She smelled the cigarette smoke on him, mixed with his faint musky scent. "Hey." he answered. She couldn't help but notice his voice was a mixture of concern and pain.

"Hey." her voice cracked as she said the word. 

He looked at her back. He knew she wouldn't face him. "I've missed you." he stated boldly. Julia responded with silence. Her back continued to face Spike. He still stood at the doorway. 

"Wanna tell me why you're avoiding me?" Spike asked after a moment of tortuous silence.

"I can't do this to you anymore." she whispered, unknowingly conveying her emotions to him. Her voice was soft, threatening to crack at any moment. It was ready to betray her and show Spike what she was feeling. He closed the door and walked fully into her apartment. 

"Can't do what?" Spike asked. Suddenly his tongue was thick and it was hard to swallow, like there was a huge lump. He didn't think he wanted to hear what was coming next.

"I can't be with you." she said with a seriousness that made Spike take a step back away from her. "I can't do this if it'll put you in danger. I couldn't live with myself."

"I can't live without you." he whispered painfully. 

She turned her head a bit. He saw small wet paths down her cheeks, glistening in the moonlight that flooded the dark apartment. "You'll have to try."

Spike looked down at his shoes. "So that's it?" he asked bitterly. "You're just going to give up?"

"I'm not giving up." Julia insisted, as she turned to look at him. "If we were found out, they would kill us both, Spike." Julia ran a hand thought her hair. More tears spilled down her cheeks. 

"Don't do this to me." Spike almost pleaded. He watched as more tears fell from her eyes, resisting the urge to brush them away. "Don't pretend like you don't love me."

She looked at him through her tears. "Is that what I need to say? Is that what you need to hear?" Julia breathed a big breath. "I don't love you." she said, trying to stay straight lipped. Their conversation seemed to die. Spike stood in a mixture of shock and sorrow.

"Don't say that."

Julia got up from her chair and walked away, trying to hide her tears. 

"You don't mean that." Spike said forcefully.

"We can't be together, Spike." she said grievingly. 

"We've made it this far, Julia." he said advancing towards her. "I love you. I'm not willing to give this up."

"How can you love me?" Julia asked, spinning around to face him. Angry tears flowed from her eyes. "Look at me." She held her hands out. "I hide from my boyfriend. I lie to people. I cheat, I steal. I could hurt you." She bit her lip, and looked away. "You can't love me."

"But I do." he said louder than she had expected. "And you can't make me stop." Spike protested. "It's not something you can just stop, dammit." He stared at her as he watched his words sink in. 

Their heated conversation died a second death. After moments that seemed like hours, Julia spoke up. 

"What would we do if we were found out?" she lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "Let them kill us?"

He took his thumbs and brushed over her cheeks, in an attempt to brush away her tears. He held her head in his hands. Her blue eyes searched for somewhere else to stare at.

"Look at me." he ordered softly. She begrudgingly obeyed. He stared into the depths of her soul. 

"We'll be together. No matter what." he whispered. 

"No matter what." she repeated, letting his arms snake around her.

"Promise me that you're not going to give up." he said while he held her. "Promise me you'll never give up on this." he asked solemnly.

"I promise." she whispered into his shirt. "Till death do us part and all that shit."

Spike smiled. "Yeah, especially all that shit." He titled her head up, and they shared a soft, sensuous kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope y'all liked my 800+ word fic. Probably shouldn't have posted this, but hey, whatever. It was just an idea that popped into my head. 

I would like to make one thing clear, thought. I am a big advocate of reviewing. I have been at ff.net for over four years. I am sad to see that lack of reviewing going on. If you enjoyed a story, please tell the author so. If you didn't like it, there's not need to be mean about it, but authors always love feedback. Constructive criticism is most of the time, very welcome. 

I believe that reviewing is a lost art. And more people need to be doing it. If you liked any part of the story, please review it. Speaking as an author, we love to know our work is appreciated. 

So I'm asking, please review the stories you enjoy. 


End file.
